I can’t believe I haven’t posted since before I went to Bulgaria in August, it feels like an age ago!
It was a welcome break and even though it was only for 1 week, because we were in a hotel and fully inclusive, it felt like it had been longer, which was great.
Alot has happened since then which is why I’ve not posted til now. The first and main event which has happened is that my baby boy went to University, which until the day before he went, I was absolutely fine about it as it was touch and go with his A level results (as it happened he did loads better than he thought) and he was only going 1/2 hour drive away. Then he gave me his house keys and I broke for the rest of the day, then I was fine taking him and getting him settled, right up until we said goodbye and he said ‘I love you mum’ – broke again, but this time for 4 days. I think I grieved about losing my baby completely (a day I had been dreading since he was 24 hours old), but also, about my own mortality. It didn’t seem that long ago since I moved to London from home at the same age and now, the fact that I have probably lived more years than I’ve got left to live, really hit me hard.
He came back for a quick visit the following week and I think that confirmed that all was not lost and I recovered quickly from then.
The next thing is probably that when the musical theatre production I am currently appearing in has finished, I will be directing the next one, something I’ve never done and I’m so excited about it. I’m working with 3 other women from our group, sharing the role of director with 1, a musical director and a choreographer and apart from the latter, we are all virgins in our role, which is extremely exciting, if not completely terrifying!
So, I am learning a whole new set of skills and whilst it is taking a lot of energy from me, it is also reaffirming my artistic talents as ideas are constantly streaming into my head. I’m even considering writing an ebook about food for health as well as a short story or two!
I’ve had another health scare, been scanned, seen a specialist and thankfully, it appears to be a minor problem which should hopefully be corrected easily. This however, has really made me think a lot about all of my diagnosed conditions and how weight, sleep and stress really are key factors and all of which contribute to a negative cycle as they all connect to each other and I am really struggling to break the cycle. So, I have decided that I need to talk to a specialist about my weight and see what my options are as I just can’t lose any as I eat fairly healthily, but am unable to excersize due to size, exhaustion from lack of sleep, pain and stress.
There have been other bits and pieces going on too and with all this, i’ve just not had time to think about my blog.
So, here I am, finally 2 months after my last post, writing again. I thank you for your patience and look forward to boring all your pants of with more of my rantings.