rachellcuthbert

2020 out, 2021 in and welcome!

Happy New Year everyone.

I don’t normally go in for New Year festivities and I didn’t celebrate last night. I did, however, see out last year and welcome in 2021.

Last year taught me a lot about myself and reminded me to appreciate everything and everyone that I have in my life.

I went sugar free in November for Alzheimer’s Society and I learnt about how nasty sugar is on humans and how many illnesses and symptoms are affected by it. I’m going sugar free again as from today and I’m hoping that it will be a permanent way of life for me.

I loved having my family working from home and dread the day that they go back to the office. I absolutely adore my family I’m so proud of my children and how they are coping with the challenges of Covid-19 and whilst we have our moments, having them near me makes me truly grateful for them being in my life. I miss my parents so much and also my brother and his family and I can’t wait to see them again (soon hopefully).

I also realised that I have to have ‘me alone’ time, possibly for my ever increasing anxiety or possibly from having everyone at home, but I do enjoy the little haven of my bedroom and being there helps me to relax more.

I joined the MVP (maternity voices partnership) as vice chair at the beginning of the year and I’ve relished being back in the throes of maternity. Knowing I’ll never be a midwife again really crushed me, so this is my way of being involved in the care of women, their babies and their families. It also means I get to see some of my fabulous colleagues whom I miss working with so much!

Finally, I’ve rejoined Promote (the singing group from Tadlop (Telford and District light operatic players) who sing in public promoting current productions). Singing has always been my passion and I’ve missed performing this year as well as being with my fabulous musical theatre company friends. Singing again feels really good even if I absolutely hate listening and watching myself 😱.

So, 2021, I’m convinced will be similar to last year with social distancing and lockdowns until we are all vaccinated (which will take up until al least autumn I think), but I’m ready for it and have my projects to keep me focused and sane (well …).

Stay safe everyone, I cherish each and every one of you and hope we can all be here in a (hopefully) more normal life, this time next year.

Much love

💜💜💜

Published by rachellcuthbert

I am a fat, forty something, fibromyalgia warrior who is a wife, a mother to 3 incredible teenagers/young adults and 2 dogs. After having my children, I trained for 6 years to become a midwife, which was a dream of mine. 5 years into my job, I was working on the community, holding clinics, visiting pregnant women and new mums at their homes as well as helping women give birth. Stress was always part of my life as we were a busy family and I didnt realise how much it was affecting my health, also the stress from fear of being sued whilst working as a midwife and the stress from trying to give women all the care they needed whilst being understaffed, therefore feeling failure regularly. I became ill, diagnosed with; Fibromyalgia, vertigo, depression, anxiety, tempero mandibular jaw dysfunction, hypermobility, oesophagitis, migraines, gastric ulcer, premature menopause as well as dermatillomania and trichotillomania. After battling to get disability benefits (even though it was impossible to function as a standard human, let alone work!), i was finally given a pittance. So, sat at home all day long, grieving about being taken away from a job that i had adored and worked so hard to achieve, staring at my increasingly messy and unclean house (couldnt stand for more than a minute, no strength to hold anything and exhausted and the slighted activity), watching mind numbing television, I decided to try to do something about it. I refused to accept that this was my life from now on and I definitely refused to accept that I was to receive such an insulting benefit after working most of my adult life (other than to have my beautiful babies), so I looked at ways I could make money, that suited my irregular hours, days etc of work ability, but that could also make enough to allow me to tell the benefit people what exactly they could do with the pennies i received. Initially, i taught myself to crochet and I am now able to make beautiful toys for babies, that are safe to use and beautiful to look at, but unfortunately, because of the pain i get in my fingers and wrists, it takes a long time to make and so was not suitable as a way of making money. Then I started to make jewellery again (I made and sold bits and bobs as a teenager) and found my passion in doing this and also, that I was good. My friend and I discussed my options and between us decided that we would both create handmade items to sell in an online boutique initially, then, if we were successful enough, a walk in boutique, with a big side room to hold workshops. And this is where we currently are working towards, I have high hopes and ambition for my future now and it is helping me with a lot of my illnesses and symptoms. I have found I am passionate about a lot of things, equality/feminism, environment, self sufficiency, herbalism, holistic health care and I want to share my research, ideas and achievements with you all. Hopefully, I will achieve my dreams, and I would also love it, if, I can help some of you too. Loves xx

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